Bullet
by Izakuma
Summary: Gaara is a troubled teen, stuck in his own world of despair. When a failed suicide attempt leaves him lower than ever and stuck alone in a hospital ward, it seems to him that things could be no worse. As he tries to fake his way out and back home to finish the job, he meets an alluring blonde who openly reveals his own dark troubles. Is it possible to fix what's already broken?
1. Chapter 1

Hello lovely readers~

The summary is the lyrics to Hollywood Undead's song Bullet, as is the title. So a reminder that I own nothing but the actual stories itself.

With that said I'd just like to say that this story is AU and a **dark** one and contains thoughts of **suicide** and **self harm**. If any of that bothers you please feel free to click the back button.

…

Gaara sat on the edge of the building, his legs hanging over swinging idly. Silently, he watched the city beneath him; its symphony of different sounds bombarding his ears. In the distance he could hear the faint whine of sirens. He briefly wondered if they were coming for him. No. Why would they? He was just another teenager just like any other. No. That was a lie. Teenagers didn't wish for death; didn't mutilate their bodies. They didn't hate their families; they loved them. How could he though? He killed his mother, his father had tried to kill him, and his brother and sister never cared to begin with. People were the same way. They used each other. Whether it was for money, drugs, sex, or power, it didn't matter. But why? Why were they like that?

Why?

Why?

Why?

His dark lined eyes drooped as the handful of pills he took earlier began to take effect. It was now or never. He reached over to his bag and pulled out a small case filled with razor blades. He had to do this; finish the job. He pulled up the sleeves of his black shirt and pressed the sharpened edge to his skin. The metal was cold and sent a chill throughout his body. Applying pressure he felt the familiar sting of pain as it broke the skin. A little deeper, a little harder. He pulled, dragging the blade across his arm; cutting through scars, some old, some new. They healed every time. Why? It was bound to happen again. Why try to fix what was already broken? It would never be the same. Once fucked up, always fucked up. Moving his hand he crissed and crossed; crimson lines crying shouts of death. His vision was blurring. Was it the pills or lack of blood? Did it matter? No. He leaned back, falling onto the paved roof with a thud. He lay there watching the soft glow of the moon in a sea of twinkling stars. What a life this turned out to be.

…

Whoever said death was welcoming was a liar. He had welcomed it with open arms only to be rejected. He sat in a hospital bed, his stomach sore and his arm tender and bandaged. Not even death would accept him now. What was left?

"Gaara?" he didn't bother to look over. He knew it was Kankuro. The tall brunet wore a look of pity on his face. He knew what he thought of him. He was pathetic. He was ashamed to have him as a younger brother. So why was he here? Had he come to torture him further?

"Hey, Gaara. How're you feeling?"

"..."

"Look," he sighed, "I'm not really sure what to say. I mean you're my little brother, I love you and-"

"Liar."

"I'm not a-"

"Liar." The man sighed.

"No Gaara, you're wrong. Temari and I both love you. You're our little brother...and...and that's why we're going to what we think is right." This caught the red head's attention as he finally looked over. Kankuro's face was serious and his eyes sorrowful. The purple makeup lining his face creased where his brow furrowed.

"Temari and I have decided to hand you over to the authorities."

"What?" his eyes widened with shock; suddenly he was all too aware of the organ beating in his chest.

"They're going to take care of you."

No.

No.

NO!

Gaara's body shook with foreign emotions. It was as if he was hit with tsunami after tsunami. How? How could they do that to him? Why? What would happen to him now?

"They'll be keeping you at St Luke's Behavioral Center. I promise Temari and I will visit you when we have the chance. I'm sorry."

He wasn't sorry. No one was ever really sorry. What did that even mean anyway? How was he supposed to take that?

_Sorry that your parents hate you._

_Sorry that your father tried to kill you._

_Sorry that your siblings despise you._

_Sorry you hate your life._

_Sorry you tried to kill yourself._

_Sorry._

That infernal word, it didn't fix anything. No matter how sorry you were, it would never cure the world of pain.

He watched as Kankuro left the room. Now what? Was he supposed to just sit here and wait for them to come in just so they could take him to a psych ward and tell him he was crazy?

_But you are._

Crazy, sick, unwanted, and unloved, those were the words he used to describe himself. Gaara Sabaku: self loathing, suicidal teenager. Why him? What was it about him that made God want to press that "Fuck you" button?

He lay back into the uncomfortable piece of garbage they called a bed and tried to relax. His stomach was threatening to rip him apart if he didn't calm down. He wished he was back at home. Alone in his room with his blades and fake sense of peace. His sanctuary where he didn't have to worry about anything. Suddenly it seemed like his life had gone to Hell and back. He wanted so badly for things to just stop. This pain, this hurt, this world full of hate. At the same time though he desperately wanted to believe that things would get better; that perhaps his going there will stop the madness.

Yes, the madness. It was dark and dangerous. A deep parallel to this world. Could they fix it? Was it even possible anymore?

Gaara sighed and closed his dark rimmed eyes. His existence was pointless. He only brought pain and suffering. Things here would be no better. He would stay for as long as he had too, then, when his time was up, he would leave and finish the job he started. He would dance for them and they would applaud and send him to his doom. It was just a matter of time.

…

Okay~

So how was it? Was it bad? I've never done a GaaraXNaruto story before, so I hope this works out.

Please review and let me know what you think.~


	2. Chapter 2

Things here were definitely different. Unlike the rest of the hospital, this place, that he never even knew existed, was something of a warm environment. A few days after he was found and brought to the hospital, a woman with, what he could only describe as big around the chest, had come in to see how he was doing. He didn't say much while she was there. She introduced herself as Tsunade and asked him a few things before trying to get him to talk about his life. He promptly refused to talk to her after that. It was none of her business anyway. After about ten minutes she gave up and said something about being ready for him to move.

He wasn't left alone for long before a young looking girl came in to remove the IV that still was attached to the crook in his left arm. Her pink hair was held back by a red headband and swayed as she moved around the room. She looked at him and smiled as she taped a cotton ball to his arm where the IV had been inserted.

"Sorry if it hurts. It's been in there a while so it's bound to be a little sore." Her voice was soft on the ears and he surprisingly found that he much rather preferred her company than the woman from before.

"My name's Sakura by the way." She spoke again with the same gentle tone. Gaara decided that he definitely like this girl. She didn't pry like the others, not even for his name. She seemed content in her work and didn't make him feel like he was obligated to answer her. Still, he didn't want to be rude.

"Gaara." He hated how raspy his voice sounded. It was hoarse from all the screaming he did the past few nights. Nightmares had found their way into his sub consciousness and tortured him throughout the night.

"Nice to meet you—"

"Sakura-Chan!" Gaara nearly jumped as the shrill voice rang in the hallways outside of his room. Sakura's expression went from kind to angry in a matter of seconds and she was almost immediately outside his door and yelling at what must have been the person who was causing all the noise.

"Naruto! What do you think you're doing?" he couldn't see very well from his spot in the room, but it seemed from where he sat that she had grabbed him and had him in a headlock. Totally different than she was before.

"S-sorry Sakura-Chan. I was looking for you for like an hour now." He could hear her as she sighed.

"Naruto, I was just with you not fifteen minutes ago."

"Yeah, well…" she must have released him because his speech had become something of a normal sound again.

"Whatever, it doesn't matter. What did you need anyway?"

"I'm bored and lonely without you! Don't you usually take your break about now?"

"I have a few more rounds I have to make first." She looked at her watch and back at Gaara who sat in his room patiently. "But why don't you keep Gaara here company? He looks like he could use a friend. Besides he's really nice, I think you two will get along nicely."

Oh Hell no. She did not just pin him off on him. Gaara did not need any more friends then he already had, which happened to be zero. He had no tolerance for a kid like Naruto. He was loud and annoying and seemed to be missing a few manors as well.

The blonde took his time to poke his head into the room before walking in and checking things out. His blue eyes scanned the room, looking for anything that might give him some information on the redhead that sat in front of him. The room was about as bare as it could be, even with an occupant.

"OK." He shrugged his shoulders and sat down in the chair that had been placed on his bedside.

"Good. I'll see you later then." With another smile and a short wave she grabbed he clipboard and left.

"Isn't she great?" Naruto tried to stir up a conversation as best he could. Unfortunately it only ended up one sided, with him doing all of the talking. "Sakura's a good friend of mine. We went to school together for years before she noticed me, but we've been friends for a while now. She's a great nurse, you're lucky to have her. She's only sixteen, but she's done a remarkable job so far in life." Naruto continued on even through the silence of the other male. He seemed to do nothing but praise the people he knew and loved.

"So, what about you? What's your story?" Gaara did his best to ignore him as he looked out the window instead choosing to pretend that he had found something much more interesting than the blonde beside him.

"You don't talk very much, do you? Whatever, that's OK. I can talk enough for the both of us!" Gaara couldn't help but look on as a big toothy grin spread its way across the other's face. It was only then that he noticed the faint, whisker like scars that adorned the boys face. He almost asked him too, but instead chose to remain silent as he had before.

Naruto seemed to pay no attention to it what-so-ever as he got up and walked over to the door, stopping in the doorway before turning around and looking at him.

"I'm going to go and get something form the vending machine in the lobby. Do you want anything?" he waited patiently for what must have been at least two minutes before turning around and shrugging his shoulders.

"I'll get you something anyway. Hope you like chocolate." Gaara stared after his retreating form until he turned the corner and could no longer see him. What was that boy's fix anyway? He'd only just met him and here he was buying him snacks and talking to him like they were best friends.

He didn't know what it was, but there was something about that boy that had caught his attention. Normally he would have yelled and thrown something, if not physically attacked someone if they sat in his room with the audaciousness that Naruto had. Something was off here and he didn't think it was the medication.

…

Second chapter complete!

Please don't forget to leave a review!~


	3. Chapter 3

Naruto had returned about ten minutes after he had left, snacks in hand and a smile on his face. He plopped down beside the bed and tossed Gaara a chocolate bar.

"Here." Gaara turned the small object around in his hands and looked at it skeptically.

"It's a Milky way. They're good. Try it." Naruto urged him further, grabbing the thing out of his hands when he didn't move to eat it.

"Look, I promise you'll like it." He opened the top and pulled the wrapper down a bit so the red head could get a bite in. "Now eat it."

Gaara tentatively reached out and took the bar from the blonde's hand. It was true, he was hungry and he did have a thing for sweets, but…

Gaara's eyes drifted over to Naruto that sat in the chair next to the bed. He was watching him; waiting for him to eat it. Nervousness filled his stomach as he glared into the blue eyes of the other boy. Fine, if he wanted him to eat it, then he would. Besides, he wasn't one to waste other people's money.

He cautiously took a bite, reveling in the sweet taste that flooded his mouth. He couldn't help the soft smile that found its way onto his lips. Hurriedly, he turned away from the blonde to look out of the window; pink dusted his pale cheeks and he hoped the other hadn't noticed.

"It's good right?" Naruto's muffled voice came from behind him. He shoved another piece of what he assumed to be beef jerky into his mouth and sat up.

"Hey, can I ask you a question?" the blonde leaned in close so he could rest his elbows on the bed. He waited for a moment before continuing.

"Why don't you say anything? I mean, I know you can talk, so why is it that you just sit there? Doesn't it get…oh I don't know, annoying?" Gaara thought about what Naruto had said. It was true, he had to admit that the lack of usage between him and his vocal cords had been slightly irritating, but then again, he never spoke much in the first place. Maybe it was the fact that he couldn't talk rather than simply choosing not to.

Naruto continued to watch him, only half expecting a response. He wanted to hear the red head's voice, wanted to know what he was like and about his past. Why was he here? What was his family like?

"Yes." His eyes widened as Gaara spoke up for the first time. "Not speaking…it does get…bothersome."

"I knew it!" Gaara jumped slightly as Naruto shot up in his seat, clearly happy that he had finally said something; even if it was just a few simple words.

"Ha ha, OK, OK, OK. So, first, do you have any family?" Naruto started right up into a game of twenty questions. His smile grew as he looked on expectantly. It occurred to the red head that the blonde had a habit of staring; it made him nervous.

"Yes." He answered plainly. Again, Naruto waited for him to continue. He hadn't really planned on going into specifics, but…

"My father and elder siblings, Temari and Kankuro."

"Nice! I never knew my parents, but I have an uncle. Well, he's not my real uncle, but I love him all the same. Heh heh." He scratched the back of his head nervously as he explained his own situation.

"So, next question. What are you here for?"

"…" Gaara remained silent. He turned away from the blue eyed child and looked out the window in thought. What was he here for? Attempted suicide? Depression? Self harm? Honestly, he didn't really know himself. He guessed it was a mixture of the three. But then, what was he supposed to say? He didn't want to tell him the truth. He was embarrassed by it; ashamed of what he did. They say that in hindsight we see things in 20/20 vision. So, here he was, looking back at what he did and seeing that there really is no excuse for his actions. He was a messed up kid. That was it.

"Hey, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I won't pry. I've followed Sakura around long enough to know that a lot of things happen in this world and not everyone is eager to share their experiences."

Naruto's sudden response startled him. He never expected such a response from the blonde. It was just too…mature.

"OK, so how about this, what was your—"

"Naruto." Both boys looked up to see Tsunade standing in the doorway, hands on her hips and eyes narrowed.

"Is this where you've been? I've been looking all over for you. Did you forget your appointment?"

"Oh crap. My bad Granny!" He jumped up from the chair, nearly knocking it over, and bolted past the woman before she had a chance to grab him.

"What did I tell you about calling me that?" She yelled down the hallway before turning back and walking into Gaara's room. "Brat." She sighed before turning towards him completely. "So, how are you feeling? Any better?"

"I'm fine."

"That's good to hear. Sakura should be back any time now to help you move." He nodded in response as she turned to leave. "Oh, and if you see Naruto again, yell at him for me and tell him to get his butt down to the nurses' station." He nodded as she left.

So Naruto had an appointment. He wondered what for. The kid was such a happy one that he figured he was just here to visit his friend; though he was running around in sweats and a shirt, not something most people wear out of the house.

In no time Sakura was back and helping him to get his chart and information straight before taking him down to what she had called the ward. He watched as she went through everything and made sure nothing was out of place. She was clearly good at her job. He wondered, did she know about Naruto? There was only one way to find out.

"Sakura," he said quietly, trying his best not to be rude, "About Naruto; Can I ask why he's here?" the look she gave him was a sad one. Perhaps he shouldn't have asked after all. Still, looking at him with sad eyes she began to explain the situation.

"Well, Naruto has leukemia, cancer of the blood. He's here on inpatient terms, mostly for his treatments."

Well shit. Maybe he was better off not knowing.

…

Alright, sorry for the late chapter but a lot of things have been going on. My best friend's mother is in the hospital right now for cancer. This is her third time around fighting it and it's absolutely amazing how strong she's been. Unfortunately, the MRI they did yesterday showed that the cancer has moved to her brain. So now they're working on putting her on hospice. It's sad.

So review and send us your words of encouragement and love.~


	4. Chapter 4

Cancer, so Naruto had cancer.

To be honest, Gaara was not expecting such a serious illness. The blonde boy was so happy and full of energy; there was no way he could have guessed that, not in a million years. So where did he go from here? Should he pretend that he never asked and play dumb? After all, telling the other that he knew would mean admitting that he had asked and that would be like admitting that he cared.

Which he didn't…did he?

No, no, Gaara definitely did not care. Why would he? He wouldn't…didn't…doesn't. Whatever, right now, that was the least of his worries. After Sakura had deemed him ready she had led him beyond the threshold of his room and out into the mysterious beyond. Apparently he was in a watch area. He probably should have guessed that, but it surprised him all the same.

She must have sensed his uneasiness because she turned and gave him a reassuring smile. As much as he'd hate to admit it, it sort of worked. Actually, the whole place gave him a sense of calm. He couldn't really explain it. Just being there, it gave him a small amount of hope; perhaps things could change, get better. Maybe he wouldn't have to be so messed up anymore.

It was weird to have such positive thoughts. Now that somebody knew, was paying attention to him, he couldn't help but be just a little happier.

"Gaara?" the red head stopped and looked up.

"We're here." She pointed to the large metal double doors in front of her, pulling out a set of keys and an ID card to open them. "This is the ward where you will be staying."

Gaara looked around anxiously as they entered a large area. To his left was a small nurse's station and directly in front of that was a tiled area with tables. To his right was a large open space. The only thing that filled it was the large plastic chair/booths and a small TV against the wall. On the far right and just behind it were sets of doors. They must have been the other patient's rooms.

"Shizune-san?" Sakura walked up to the nurse's desk and peeked behind. "Shizune-san, I brought the new patient."

Gaara winced lightly as a grunt followed by a loud crash sounded throughout the room. A couple papers flew out from behind the desk as Sakura picked them up quickly. They must be patient files, perhaps even his own.

"A-ah, thank you very much Sakura-chan. I've been so busy lately!" She turned to Gaara, "So, you must be Gaara. I'm Shizune, the head nurse. We have a few things to do before I can't let you get settled so if you would please follow me."

He looked to his pink haired friend as she nodded her approval. Looking silently at the ground he followed the dark haired woman into what looked to be a small conference room. She closed and locked the door behind her, setting the clipboard down on the large table.

"Alright, Gaara. I have a few things that you have to help me fill out here. This first one, "She pulled out a piece of paper with a person in the anatomical position on it, "Is for you to draw on. Take this red pen and wherever you cut yourself I want you to recreate it here."

Gaara felt his cheeks get warm. These people kept saying things about him and his problems…and yet, they just moved on with things like it was normal. Maybe for them it was.

He nodded, doing as he was told. It only took him a minute before he handed it back; shame staining his cheeks.

"Alright, you didn't come here with mush so we don't have to go through your belongings. Um…Oh! Rules and regulations! They're pretty straight forward, but listen well anyway."

Gaara sat silently nodding his head every once in a while to show that he was still listening. Shizune took longer than he suspected, but it was done quickly enough.

"And that's it. Any questions?" he shook his head. "OK then. Come on, I'll take you out onto the floor and you can start getting to know people."

He cringed inwardly. He didn't do well with people normally and he was pretty sure that this wasn't going to be much different. He prayed that there weren't too many that were too young. He didn't do well with children. There was just something about them that he couldn't handle; that set him off.

Once they left the room, Shizune left his side, giving him an encouraging pat on the back before heading to the nurse's area. Gaara looked around. There were only a few other patients, none of which, that looked normal.

There was a couple in the corner that he spotted first. The smaller of the two was a young, lighter red head. He was talking to what Gaara had assumed to be a girl, but on closer examination, had determined to be a guy. He had long blonde hair, half of which was held in a pony; his bangs falling over the left side of his face.

A second pair sat not too far away. These two were far more bizarre looking than the others had been. Perhaps one of the weirdest, scariest people in the entire world was the dark skinned male. His arms and face were covered in scars and healing gashes. Looking at him reminded him of himself and his own cuts, but nothing compared to the other male. He even had scars starting from the corners of his mouth leading up towards his cheek bones. It was gruesome. His friend on the other hand seemed fairly normal. His lengthily short silver hair was combed back and his person looked almost boring. His smile was something else though. It held a hint of underlying insanity; something that made Gaara quite nervous.

Compared to these people, Gaara looked like an angel, the perfect child. He honestly wondered how he was going to survive this. How long was he going to be here? It could be weeks, months even! He wasn't so sure he could handle that.

Talk the talk and walk the walk. That's all he had to do to get out of here and he was determined to leave, one way or another.

…

I am so sorry this took so long to update. I've been pretty busy lately, what with school and some family issues going on.

On another note, my friend's mom passed away on the 23rd of March. She was the one I had mentioned before. Honestly, she was the main inspiration for this story; this is my dedication for her.

ASDFGHJKL OK, enough sadness.

Don't forget to leave a review!~


	5. Chapter 5

How many times would he have to say it? Did they not understand that when he said he was fine, he was fine? Or did they think he was lying?

OK so he was lying, but he was seriously tired of all the questions. Maybe it was the way he looked; his eyes were bloodshot with sleeplessness, his posture slouched with fatigue. He couldn't help it though. He had always had a hard time sleeping, even when he was a baby.

Walking out of his room, which gladly he didn't have to share, he stepped out onto the main area which they called the floor. It was lunch time and Shizune had called him from his hiding place saying, 'If you hide in here all day, they're going to think something's wrong,' and he couldn't have that. Not if he wanted to get out.

Gaara looked around as he came to the tables, the other four residents split off into pairs on their own separate areas. He didn't say anything, walking over to an empty one to sit alone. He didn't mind, he preferred it that way.

"Nice to see you out of your room." Gaara looked up at the soft sound of Sakura's voice. Her green eyes shown with kindness as she looked down and handed him his tray.

"Thanks." he didn't say anything else, simply looking at what they had given him: a measly bowl of fruit and some yogurt with granola crumbs.

Fantastic.

"I know it isn't much, but they want to start you out small and healthy. Consuming large amounts of pills in an attempt to over dose does a lot more harm than most people realize." she explained as she joined him at the table. Again, Gaara didn't mind her company. She was quiet and didn't make him talk, instead making small chat as he listened.

Just like Naruto did.

"Oi! Nurse!" both Sakura and Gaara looked up as the man, the red head had familiarized as Hidan, called over to her, a wicked grin on his face, "You gonna come over here and give us some special treatment too? We don't have another chair, but you can sit your pretty little ass in my lap!"

Sakura's face burned with embarrassment and anger, the small vein in the side of her forehead bulging out prominently. She stood abruptly, her pink hair moving into her face, "SHUT UP YA SLIMEY LEECH! BEFORE I KNOCK THE DOUCHE OUT OF YOU!"

Both Kakuzu and Hidan snickered, clearly more amused than frightened; however, Gaara didn't doubt that she'd make good on her threat.

"Sakura, come on. Lady Tsunade is waiting!"

"Oh!" she turned as Shizune called her from the nurse's station, "Sorry," she grabbed her clip board and tapped him on the shoulder, "Be good OK?"

Gaara almost let loose a chuckle as he watched her hit Hidan upside the head, his hair falling into his face as he leaned forward and rubbed the now sore spot. She was good company to have.

After lunch, they had group therapy. They each stated their mood, rated it and then made a goal for the day.

"Today I am calm," started Deidara. Gaara noticed that the majority of the time that was his only response, "I feel artistic, and my goal is to perfect my clay statue."

To the side, Sasori was eying the blonde man. His light brown eyes scrutinizing him, "I too am calm, and I am /more/ artistic than Deidara."

From the side, a single blue eye could be seen flashing malice at the reddish haired boy.

"My goal is to complete the creation of my puppet."

"You mean your doll?" the feminine man sneered.

"No, I mean my master piece."

"That hunk of wood and screws isn't worth shit! Art is a bang, meant to be fleeting and a once in a lifetime sight!"

"'Once in a lifetime sight'? How ironic, is that the reason for your accident?"

Gaara sat off to the side, scooting as close as he dared to Hidan and Kakuzu, as their spat escalated. Sasori stood from his chair, Deidara mimicking his motions with more ferocity, surprisingly pushing back the heavy sand-filled chair.

"You fucking brat, you don't know anything about art!" Deidara's loud voice echoed through the enclosed area. His frame shook with what anybody else would see as anger, but somehow, Gaara recognized it as something more. It was pain, not physical, but emotional pain.

And he felt it; he knew what it was like to hurt on the inside, tearing up your outside just to try and find out what makes it work, what you can do to stop it. That stinging pain that would run up his wrists, his hands, his whole arm. The warm trails of blood that spread over his torso, that dizzying feeling in his head he got when everything just became too much. The darkness that would take him away, guide him to a dreamless sleep where he didn't have to worry; didn't have to worry about fitting in at school, or about whether or not his brother and sister loved him, or his dad or…

Or…

Or his mom.

Gaara's head began to throb as he continued to sit and think, the outside voices of the arguing duo becoming lost to his senses. Where was it? Where was his razor? Not in his pocket? Out of reach? Lost? What about the one hidden on the inside of his lampshade; in between his books, in his wallet, the inside of his pillow? What about the pencil sharpener? The one he unscrewed to get to the blade? Was that gone too?

Where was his sweet release?

At first, he was only itching the healing gashes that labeled his arms, lightly going over them in a soft back and forth motion. And then it became something more: a need. His fingernails bit the skin, well and abused, reopening the cuts and causing them to bleed. It was euphoric, the elated feeling he got from his; like a soft sang melody that draped his person in crimson warmth.

Except…there was that awful sound in the background; loud and almost shrill as it rang in his ears, in his head even.

And then he realized what it was. It was his own voice shouting loud and clear as it tried to block everything out. It was against his will. He couldn't even control his own vocal chords anymore.

Gaara gasped for air as he was suddenly grabbed by his wrists and shoulders, his body being forced onto the ground as he kicked and flailed in a sorry attempt to stop it. He could hear the personnel talking quickly, controlled panic in their voices as the called for a tranquilizer.

He screamed again, this time louder. He didn't want that. The drugs were worse than being sleepless. Another scream erupted from his mouth, but this time his deep and raspy sounds were no longer just empty calls of pain. They were filled with a new emotion; he was scared and he didn't know why.

And the only coherent thing he could form, was Naruto's name.

Over and over until the darkness took him away from that cruel and even darker reality.

…

Blue eyes glistened with worry as they scanned the halls, desperately trying to find that familiar mop of red hair that he had become so fond of. How long had it been since Sakura told him the news; that Gaara had had a mental break down on his second day in there. He couldn't imagine the pain that the other was going through, but, unlike everybody else, he had a feeling he was the only one that would be able to relate.

Naruto stopped abruptly in the middle of the hall, almost knocking over two doctors and a nurse in the process.

"Sorry!" he shouted to them without even sparing them a second glance.

All that mattered to him at the moment was getting to the red head that lay motionless in a bed just across the hall.

"Gaara!" the blonde shouted as he swung open the door, the metal handle slamming into the rubber door stop stuck to the wall. However, the semi loud noise did nothing to stir the red head, his light green eyes remaining shut, his breathing calm, and his body perfectly still.

Naruto's face fell as he realized he wasn't just going to wake up when he called him; despite his attempts to be his friend, he felt that Gaara was still trying to keep him out. It hurt, just like it always had growing up as a kid, but still, even with all the nostalgic feelings he'd rather do without, he found it more important to be his friend.

Grabbing a chair, he brought it to his bedside, scooting up as close as he could and resting his head on the mattress. He breathed in deeply, the strong scent of cleaner filling his nose. He had made up his mind; he was going to sit here until Gaara woke up, and when he did, he was going to knock some sense into him. He didn't want to see him fall. He was killing himself. Cutting up his body and strangling his psyche to the point where there would be nothing left.

He didn't want that.

He cared.

He swore he wouldn't let it happen.

That was his promise.

…

**Oh, look at that, a wild update has appeared! :D**

**Finally right? I'm sorry for slacking guys. I started this story when I was super deep into the Naruto fandom. Unfortunately I was pulled away by DRRR!**

**Good news is though, I think I'm finally starting to get that feel for it again!**

**Next chapter will have some amazing NarutoxGaara goodness, but only if you leave a review. **

**Remember, each review helps us to help Gaara feel better. **


	6. Chapter 6

A cold pain surrounded by darkness, covering, blanketing him and blocking out any light, sound, or emotion that could ever possibly reach him. He was alone; alone in this deafening pit of sorrow and he couldn't get out.

At least, that's how it used to be.

Now, he sat crouched in the same spot he always was, thin, pale legs pulled to his chest as light green eyes looked to the black ground. Then, a sudden warmth was placed on his shoulder, moving him, shaking him until he looked up, only to see nobody behind him. He'd turn to the front, only to see the same empty space as before.

Soft sniffles would leave his mouth, warm salty tears streaming down his face as he realized nobody was there for him.

And that was exactly it; nobody was there for him, but one was there with him.

Naruto.

Naruto did not stand behind him for support, nor did he walk in front of him for inspiration. He stood beside him, walking the same pain-filled path that the other did; hand in hand, two people, one sorrow.

The blonde was his friend, the only one who could tell what he was feeling and understand it at the same time. It was more than anyone had ever been able to do before; and he cherished it.

"I won't leave."

That voice; the same one owned by the man with sun-kissed skin and ocean blue eyes, it was his.

Gaara looked up from his crouched position, pale, dark rimmed eyes looking around in the darkness as he searched for the man that it belonged to, but there was nothing. Maybe he was alone, maybe nobody cared—

"I don't care, I refuse to leave!"

There it was again, only louder this time around. He stood up, looking, searching, praying that he'd find him, find the one that radiated the happiness that he was feeding off of.

"Naruto?" came the soft raspy sound, the red head's voice cracking as he tested them out.

"Gaara?"

"Naruto, I can't see you." He hated how he sounded weak, almost desperate as he searched, his feet moving of their own accord, pounding against the darkness of the invisible ground as he ran. Soft locks of crimson fell into his eyes, the weightless air pushing it, moving it in his way and staining his vision with blood.

His mother's blood.

…

Naruto sat in the same chair he had for the second day in a row shifting as his ass fit into the embedded print that had developed over the time.

He sighed; Gaara didn't look at all like the sleeping people did in the movies. He looked solemn, like he was reliving something, wandering lost and the more he looked the worse it seemed to get. He didn't understand why.

To him, sleep was an escape from reality, a place where he was left alone to dwell on things.

And where time wasn't against him.

"Naruto, what are you doing here? You should be in your own room." That voice, he knew it well. Turning in the chair he had claimed as his own, the whiskered male rested his elbow on Gaara's bed as he looked at Sakura. Her bubblegum hair was tied back and up today, most of it out of her face as it seemed to get in the way even with it being so short.

"I'm waiting." He responded almost proudly.

The woman seemed to look at him with a melancholy expression, lightly biting at her bottom lip as she walked in. Her heels clicked as she did, echoing soundly in the quiet room. Silently, she checked his vitals, looking to her watch and writing something down on her clip board before straightening his sheets.

"It looks like he'll be asleep for a while longer. Tsunade-sama had him under severe sedations there for a while. If you want, I can let you know when he wakes up."

"No." Naruto said firmly, "I won't leave."

A sigh passed pink colored lips as he said this, the young woman shaking her head, "He's not going to wake up. You need to go and attend to your own situation." Her voice seemed to harden as she advised him, emerald hues baring down on him with authority.

"I don't care, I refuse to leave!"

Whether it was his loud voice or the tranquilizers wearing off, Naruto would never know, but it didn't matter as the red head was finally stirring, the blonde's name leaving his mouth.

At first, this seemed weird; hearing his voice come from the pale man in such a manner sent an awkward feeling through his gut. Like one eating Ichiraku ramen for the first time and not knowing how to react to its perfection.

"Gaara?"

"Naruto, I can't see you." It was as if he was awake. Though his eyes were closed his face and voice expressed feelings only a person of the waking world could express. And just like that, that same pained frown was back, Gaara mumbling nonsense as he tried to turn in his sleep, the restraints preventing him.

There was no hesitation in Sakura's motions as she quickly pressed the call button for the nurses, putting a hand to his chest as she attempted to keep him still.

Naruto watched on in silent horror as he witnessed the panic and fear morph onto his friend's face for the first time.

It was awful.

And there was nothing he could do, but stand out of the way and watch as he was put under once more.

"How long are you going to stay there?" he whispered to himself, blue eyes shimmering with empathy.


	7. Chapter 7

Light green eyes slowly opened in the soft, orange-ish glow of the room. Gaara lay where he had for two days now, out cold despite the sedatives wearing off. Moving his arm, he noted that he was strapped to the bed, an IV running next to him as well.

He sighed, of course. He was practically all back to square one, so far from where he wanted to be. He really just wanted to go home, to be in _his_ bed, with his blades, those pills, anything that would take him away from this hell that his life had become. In all honesty, he didn't even know how it had gotten to this point, but he knew he wanted it to end.

A sudden stirring to the side of him made him jump, a head of spikey blonde locks catching his attention.

Naruto.

He could hardly believe the other was there. He should be in his own bed sleeping, and yet here he was, passed out in a chair with his head on the bed. He was such a dork, and yet this simple, stupid action made Gaara feel better than he had in a long time. It was as if Naruto cared about him, even if it was an illusion.

Shaking his head, he pulled on the restraints, wondering if he could slip out, though he soon found out it was not an option. It was a pity too.

Defeated, he pressed the nurse's button that had been placed next to his hand should he wake up, looking over at an unfamiliar woman as she came in with something of a nervous smile. She was obviously nervous. She was probably new.

"May I be untied?" It was a simple question, and yet Gaara feared he would have to repeat himself, his voice raspy to the point that the nurse could barely hear him; however, she smiled sadly as she registered what had been asked, "I'm sorry, but only the chief doctor, Tsunade-sama, can decide that. I can help you though if there's anything you need. Are you hungry?"

There it was once again. Gaara knew she meant nothing by it, but that sickeningly sweet voice that people always seemed to use on him was getting old. He didn't need people to walk on eggshells around him. It wasn't like anything they said could make him any worse than he already was, so why bother?

Shaking his head, he turned it so that he was no longer facing her, his way of saying the conversation was over. She seemed to understand though as she nodded and left; however, some people were not as bright.

"Are you sure you don't need something?" came a tired yawn.

It was Naruto, the whiskered man now sitting up in his chair and stretching this way and that, loud pops sounding throughout the room as he readjusted himself. He should have known to expect something like that from him. Normally, he would feel a bit better at the fact that someone was indeed caring for him, but at the moment, it was nothing but a useless waste of time.

". . .Fine, don't answer me." That same voice spoke, "But I'll have you know that you take really long naps. I think the longest I've ever slept was a day, and this chemo shit really wears you out, ahaha."

Of course, here Gaara was, giving Naruto and the rest of the world the silent treatment as he was feeling sorry for himself when really, he should be thanking every single person. They had kept him alive and were attempting to help bring him back to a happier time. He was such a terrible person.

After a long pause, Gaara finally spoke up, still choosing to look away, "Sorry."

"Naw, no worries man. I get ya. You're one of them strong silent types. I had a friend like that once. His name was Sasuke. We never got along very much, but somehow I think we were important to each other; at least, he was important to me." Naruto gave a shrug, but it wa obvious it meant more to him, "He moved away though; overseas to America to find his brother Itachi and try to get some revenge. Said something about the company business."

Time seemed to continue like that for hours despite Naruto rambling for only a few minutes, the blonde seemingly hooked on the subject of his friend before he realized what he was doing.

"Ah, sorry, I talk a lot." He yawned, "But hey, go back to sleep. Imma head back to my own room. Sakura-chan said she'd hurt me if she found me here at night. Later Gaara."

And just like that he was gone. Silence immediately flowed into the room, leaving the red head to his own thoughts again, which were only belittling to himself; however, the teen was getting a familiar feeling, one he didn't get too often. It was the feeling of friendship. Naruto was still there for him, ignoring the bad and focusing on what mattered most to himself and others, and it dawned on him that that was where he should be as well. He wanted to get better, wanted to be happy, to let the scars fade into nothing but white.

He wanted to be normal.

Gaara had made up his mind, like so many times before. Tomorrow would be his first real day of recovery. As long as he had that blonde in his life, he was sure he could do it.

**. . . . **

**Boom, look at that, an update. Looks like I can finally start moving this forward a bit faster and get some real stuff happening.**

**As always, remember to leave a review!**


	8. Chapter 8

What was it that Gaara had said about recovering?

Oh yes, that he was going to do so; however, this was not what he had had in mind.

Gaara stood at the end of a mat along with the other patients, each one grinning or frowning, looking down at their feet and friends as they already knew the purpose of the situation: social teamwork.

"Alright," Shizune spoke, clapping her hands together as she looked at the kids in front of her, "What I want you all to do is move this mat so that it is turned over using nothing but your feet. Simple enough; All it requires you to do is work with each other."

"Then why is **he** here?" Deidara piped in, Sasori chuckling beside him as purple hues drifted over to the other redheaded boy.

The woman shook her head, already seeing a problem developing between Gaara and the other patients. None of them liked him. Each one had seen his reactions and they all had concluded that the boy was crazy, or that he had some kind of tailed beast from Japanese folk legend inside of him, picking up the nickname 'Jinchuriki.'

Not that Gaara cared anymore. As much as he wanted to get better, he feared that there was really no way of doing so. He was so disgusted by himself that he was sure he wouldn't be able to function in the outside world. He was a monster.

"Enough." She said, glaring at the boys, "Gaara has just as much right to be here, and there is nothing wrong with him."

Oh, how funny for one to say that about such a kid in such a place.

The teen scoffed, turning a blue eye back to the shorter male next to him as he whispered to him in their own little world.

Shaking her head, Shizune stepped back, motioning for them to start.

In the beginning, no one moved, simply standing with dull looks, wondering if the nurse was serious or if this was really supposed to be a game. When she only narrowed her eyes, a sigh came from the stitched man known as Kakuzu, the male kicking his foot as her moved the mat, rolling it in on itself as the others soon followed his example.

It was nothing hard, the group soon having the mat on its opposite side as they merely stood there now. Shizune clapped her hands, giving a bright smile before she let them go for a break, each one moving away and leaving Gaara to stand alone.

"Good job," Came a soft voice, Sakura standing behind the young male as she placed her hand on his shoulder, "I was watching from the nurse's desk. I'm sure it wasn't easy, but you got the job done. Your first step in a line to getting out and being happy; I know it doesn't seem like much, but soon I think you'll find it more helpful than stupid."

Sakura's voice was calm and her words true and meaningful as always. It was fitting that she did what she did, even at such a young age. Gaara couldn't imagine her doing anything else, and with a shrug of his shoulders, he turned to fully face her.

"I guess."

Shaking her head she gave another bright smile, "Just keep your chin up. Naruto told me that you're hard on yourself."

"Huh?" the dumbed sound fell from his lips. He had never told Naruto that he hated himself. Or was it obvious?

Or did he know what it was like?

. . . .

"So Granny, how's it looking today?" asked the blonde, bright blue hues shining at her as they watched her face. The slight twitch of her lips was enough to give it away, and Naruto was beaming from every pore in his body.

"There are no visible traces of the cancer at all. It looks like we've won for the time being." Tsunade hummed, her usually bitter demeanor gone at the moment as she looked over the scans once again.

Yes, after having been in in-patient treatment for over a year now, Naruto was finally able to say that he was cancer free. And that really was the best feeling in the world.

"Thanks Granny!" he said, giving her a hug as she returned it, something she almost never did. When they parted, Naruto ran from the room, telling everyone of his great news as he yelled it up and down the halls, floor to floor as he made his way to the psyche ward.

He wanted to tell Gaara, to let him know that he was going to live, to be able to see him through all his problems and stand by his side no matter what.

But would he even care? Would Gaara want to know that? He didn't have many friends, many people to tell him that they were there for him and that he could always talk to them. So why wouldn't he be happy?

Shaking his head, he pushed his conflicting thoughts aside, stopping to catch his breath as he stood outside the doors, knocking on the window to get Sakura's attention.

Seeing him, she shook her head, opening the doors to let him in despite it, "Naruto, you know you're not supposed to be here." She scolded, giving him a hard look. The blonde nodded but smiled on.

"I know, but I have some great news and I wanted to share it with Gaara." He explained, bounding on the spot as he smiled to the pink haired girl, watching as her green eyes widened in shock and hope.

"You mean. . .?" she asked, Naruto nodding as he needed no words.

"Yeah, I get to live."

. . .

**Heartwarming.**

**Ha, well, here's another chapter. I'm probably going to go ahead and write me up some LeviXHanji here because yes I am all over SnK. Keep an eye out if you're interested cause the LeviXEren isn't far behind.**

**Review~.**


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